Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Ever feel like a character in a Candace Bushnell novel?

Here's my Facebook status from yesterday: "Mandy is listening to the most recent Morning Becomes Eclectic, admiring her new Betsy Johnsons, and contemplating a class at UCLA Extension. She feels interesting." Seriously. I felt like I sounded like a character in "Sex and the City" or something. I think it was just using "her new Betsy Johnsons" that made me feel that way.

So yes. I have new shoes. The network which employs me just wrapped a movie involving high fashion and the development executive, upon discovering that I had size 7 1/2 feet, graciously gave me a pair of shoes from said movie. I have never in my life worn such ostentatious shoes. (I almost said that I had never owned such ostentatious shoes, but that's a falsehood. I did, for some time, own a pair of avocado green platform sandals, but I never did wear them out of the house because I couldn't find anything to coordinate them with.)

I may have to start buying more interesting shoes. As my roomie put it, these were quite the ice breaker. Everywhere I went yesterday, people were telling me how cute my shoes were. The bathroom. The hallway. CAA. Poquito Mas. And here I had gone along thinking that shoes were just something to cover my feet... But maybe I can meet Prince Charming and then write a Lifetime movie about how Betsy Johnson changed my life because Prince Charming noticed my shoes.

I also need to buy some in-soles, because hoo boy these things hurt like nobody's business. I was walking around like Malibu Barbie. Not only were they tall, but the balls of my feet were screaming at me. Yeah, I could have put on my more conservative Naturalizers, but naaaah. BEAUTY IS PAIN, RIGHT?

I did have a funny realization -- These shoes actually match a dress I owned at age six. It had a foofy skirt and red rick-rack and bright floral colors. When I played Eve in the church play, that's what I wore. Because that's totally what the real Eve wore and all.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Is NOTHING sacred?

A MacGyver movie?? SERIOUSLY?

No. Really.

SERIOUSLY??

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

It's Friday, I'm (not) in love.

Do you ever have those conversations that go the same way day after day after day?

Like, take for instance, the "Friday" conversation. I loathe this conversation, but it's unavoidable on a Friday. And, well, if I don't catch myself, I find myself becoming part of the problem.

INT. CENTURY CITY OFFICE BUILDING - ELEVATOR - DAY

Your typical busy morning. People rush into elevator cars with their STARBUCKS CUPS. Two of these people are JANE and JOHN, co-workers at the same company.

JOHN
Mornin'.

JANE
Hey John. How are you?

JOHN
Oh, doin' great. Have my Starbucks. It's Friday.

JANE
Yep, it's Friday.

JOHN
I'm so glad. Got any big plans for the weekend?

JANE
Nope. Just rest. This week was just...augh.

JOHN
Sounds like a plan.


Okay, see what I mean? That scene doesn't even have to take place in an elevator. It could be at the bathroom sink. (Anywhere else in the bathroom and it's uncomfortable.) It could be at the coffee machine. It could be at the odious Arrowhead water cooler. Friday, Friday, Friday.

Look, I enjoy my alarm-clock-free days as much as the next girl. Really. But we need to move beyond the Friday conversation. My goal is to never say "It's Friday" ever again. I don't know why it bugs, but it does.

But now I've noticed a new phenomenon in my not-quite-social life. I'm finding myself having the same conversations with clients on a day-to-day basis. For example:

ME: "(Executive's) office."
CLIENT: "Hi, Amanda. It's (Client)."
ME: "Hi (Client)!"
CLIENT: "How are you?"
ME: "I'm fine. How are you today?" (I intentionally tack a "today" on the end so as not to seem like a copy-cat.)
CLIENT: "I'm fine, too."
ME: "That's good!"
CLIENT: "Is (Executive) around?"
ME: "He's actually in a meeting. Can I have him give you a call back?"
CLIENT: "Yes, please."
ME: "I'll do that."
CLIENT: "Thanks, Amanda."
ME: "Thanks, (Client)."

Every. Time. We. Talk.

I need to mix this up a bit. Any ideas?