The Dream

I dreamed of my daughter on my mother's birthday.

Four years old. Red plaid dress. Patent Mary-Janes with socks trimmed with lace on the cuffs. Caramel-colored pigtails. Asleep on my shoulder as I carried her from place to place.

Susie.

People I met thought that I was my mother. They thought that Susie was me.

And she was beautiful. Oh was she beautiful.

12 Pictures of My Day

So, every month Chad does a photo essay-type thing called 12 of 12. And, every month, I attempt to participate. I'm thwarted more often than not. Either my camera battery runs out or I am so busy at work (which, ironically, would make a great 12 of 12, no?) and completely forget about anything other than meticulously entering my boss's Outlook contacts. This month, however, I made it to 12...

12:06 a.m. - "Let's just say I want to believe."

The official 'teaser' trailer for the new X-Files movie (The X-Files: I Want to Believe) premiered at midnight on Monday. Or, rather, it was supposed to. The official site crashed, so I had to do some hunting. I eventually found it on IGN and watched with rapt attention...everything I had already seen in the trailer they showed at Paley. I'm still excited about the movie, but wished I had gone to bed after Brothers and Sisters ended, after all. Oh well! Is it July 25 yet?

9:25 a.m. - The wheels on the bus go round and round... Can you make them go any faster?

I'd like to say that I was taking the bus because I am just. that. committed. to reducing my carbon footprint. But, in all honesty, I am taking the bus because my car is in the shop for repairs. Not that I don't care about Mother Earth or anything...just that I wish L.A. had a public transportation system along the lines of New York. Case in point: Metro Rapid 704 to West L.A. I waited over 30 minutes in the rain for the bus in Silver Lake. Oh, how I love my neighborhood, though.

10:13 a.m. - Crossing Santa Monica Boulevard.

As long as it took for the bus to pick me up, it didn't take too horribly long to actually get to my destination in Century City. In this picture, I'm crossing Santa Monica and heading toward my office building, which you unfortunately can't see in the pic. I was really surprised at how busy the bus was yesterday morning. The driver had to deny entrance to some people because of overoccupancy. While on the bus this morning (Tuesday), I heard a news report about how traffic is decreasing and it's suspected that more people are taking public transportation. (Though I wonder if it's really just an advertisement.)

11:43 a.m. - Notes, notes, and more notes.

The head of my department gave me a book to read. I read it. Mostly. And gave notes on it. End of story.

12:52 p.m. - Reports, reports, and more reports.

Every Monday, we have a departmental lunch meeting. This particular Monday, we ordered in food from Factor's Famous Deli (I had a BBQ chicken salad...yum!). I'm distributing my monthly report on projects we have in production and in development.

3:06 p.m. - I feel. Like Hell.

I really hope I'm not getting sick. I really hope the horrible, horrible sore throat is just allergy-related. But combined with fatigue and achiness, things do not look good. Luckily, I had (a) Fluffy Cow to lean on, (2) Advil, and (3) a small piece of chocolate. They helped a little bit.

5:52 p.m. - Punching holes.

I really like my electric three-hole puncher -- especially on days where I've got eight scripts, four call sheets, and numerous reports to "punch." The head of marketing came in the other day and told me that from the hall, the machine sounded like someone blowing their nose. Good to know!

7:02 p.m. - At The Cellar Restaurant with my friends Kara and Kyle.

I love coming to this restaurant. Most of the time, we sit outside. However, with the general poopiness of the weather in the 310 yesterday, it was wiser to move our party indoors. I love the kitsch factor, including these Vanity Fair pictures.

9:23 p.m. - And then he had a hook...

Our favorite Irish pub in L.A. -- O'Brien's -- hosts pub trivia on Monday nights from 9 p.m. through 11 p.m. Because I wasn't feeling good, I was in the mood for a shepherd's pie -- sans the meat. (I really should just order the potatoes and carrots.) Kyle finished it off for me -- and hammed for the camera with his beer cider. At this point in the game, things are fan-tas-tic.

10:59 p.m. - Well, that sucked.

We were in first place. Alone. And then the final bonus question came around and we got it wrong. As a result, we did not win. We did not qualify for the tournament. We were bummed. It was a good round of trivia for us, though. And there's always next week...

11:39 p.m. - I've got the shower!

That was supposed to be sung a la 'I've got the power!' Boo. Hiss. I know. I like my pretty bathroom, though!

11:54 p.m. - It begins where it ends...

Time to go to sleep. Man, just looking at this picture makes me want to go home RIGHT NOW and go back to bed. My cozy, cozy room.

Lemons and melons and pears. Oh my!

My mom and aunt were in town this weekend, and as tradition with the post-Thanksgiving visit goes, one of us had to be sick. This year, it was my turn. I was definitely more than a little green around the gills -- so much so that we nearly canceled our trip to see Wicked at the Pantages Theatre in Hollywood. And the mere thought of doing so is unacceptable.

UNACCEPTABLE.

I saw Wicked for the first time back on Halloween. (See the picture above.) While I definitely enjoyed the show, it wasn't until I started listening to the soundtrack that I became hooked. Knowing that my mother loves Phantom of the Opera, I decided that we should go when she and Kelli visited in December. The show was sold out, but luckily I know someone who knows someone who knows someone and we were able to buy tickets anyway.

We were on the seventh row on the floor this time. I can't even describe the feeling of sitting there watching these people sing their hearts out. By the middle of the first verse of "The Wizard and I," I had tears on my cheeks. Don't get me started on the flying. Or "As Long as You're Mine" (hoooottttt). Or "For Good." (There were some real tears going on there.) The show is beautiful and technologically amazing, but I think what had me going back -- and has me wanting to go back again -- is its ability to make you feel. It's the friendships and the blissful naivete of young adulthood. It's that blissful naivete crashing to the ground. It's that realization that someone actually loves you -- and accepting the fact that you are actually worthy of that love...

Eden Espinosa and Megan Hilty (and Emily Rozek, who we saw in the performance this past weekend) make you feel every moment of that. Eden is just phenomenal as Elphaba -- her voice gives me chills just thinking about it. There are several YouTube clips that I could link to for evidence, but the sound quality doesn't do her justice.

If you live in Los Angeles (or will be visiting) in the next few months, make sure to get tickets and see the show. As of right now, it's set to close in early May 2008, but based on the fact that it's still selling out nearly a year later, I wouldn't be surprised to see the engagement extended. Eden's last show is December 30, so if you get a chance to see it before the end of the year, you should.

(And if you want to buy me a ticket, I'll go with you! Ha!)

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

You guys, I can't even begin to describe how excited I am about the next few weeks. Okay, so I'm a little broke and trying to figure out the whole buying-presents thing, but that cannot detract from the glory that is my mom and aunt visiting this weekend. There will be Wicked-viewage at the Pantages (where I can pretend that I am living in yesteryear) and Disneyland-go-age and just general family-ness.

I can't believe Christmas is coming up so quickly. Things are about to die down at work, though if the strike ends (ohpleaseohplease), all bets are off. People will be pitching like there's no tomorrow. Chaos will reign in Century City. Before I know it, I'll be sitting in the back seat of my parents' Four Runner in Midland, falling asleep as we drive through Grasslands looking at Christmas lights. And I'll be eating at Franco's and getting a massage at The Waterford and eating at Ichiban and and and hanging with my family and my cat.

I'm really excited about the new year, though. I'm fairly hopeful that the strike will be over by then and that maybe -- just maybe -- something will come of the resumes that I submitted. Not that I don't love my job -- I do -- but I just feel like the time is right to make the leap.

We shall see.

(And this post was totally pointless. I need to sleep.)

Things that are annoying Amanda Mason.

Okay, so these mainly fall into the realm of advertising, but whatever...

These Bebe ads drive me nuts. In what universe does Bebe think showing stick figures in sub-zero-sized clothing sells said clothing? Yes, I just realized how stupid that question was. Anyway, I am subjected to these ads every morning once I cross Highland and get into Grove and Beverly Center territory. There's a big friggin' Bebe billboard on the Beverly Center at Beverly and La Cienega. On one hand, though, at least the Mischa Barton Reign of Terror is over.

This ad campaign is classy. I might even go so far as to say "klassy-with-a-k." I freaking hate that expression, but I'm willing to bring it back for Mr. Woodcock. The title -- really? And then I have to see Billy Bob Thornton (who I only liked in Armageddon and Friday Night Lights (but Kyle Chandler is better)) standing with two basketballs like that? Ew.

Speaking of Klassy advertising, I give you Big Shots. Easily one of the worst pilots I've ever seen, by the way -- and I really, really wanted to like it. But that's not what's annoying me. "How long can they keep it up?" Ew. The country club in the show is called Firmwood. What is with this town's obsession with genitalia? I have a degree in P.R. I took Dr. Johnson's Advertising class at Tech. I know that sex sells, but I don't really find myself particularly drawn to this (or the afore-mentioned Mr. Woodcock). Maybe I'm just a freak of nature.

My brain says "buzz."

Do you ever feel like you have white noise in your brain? That's how I feel lately. I hate it. White noise in my brain and butterflies in my tummy. I just want to relax and feel normal again.

That's not to say that I'm feeling bad. At least not all the time. Things are going pretty well for me of late. Work is going amazingly well. My bosses are fantastic (seriously...I am SO BLESSED) and I feel like I'm making a contribution to the company. It's nice to feel appreciated. If people like the evil gynecologist I used to work for would realize that they would get more productivity out of employees by actually saying nice things to them, we'd have a pretty productive society. Well, that and if we initiated mandatory siesta. Ha!

There's part of me that wants to go to graduate school, but I haven't the foggiest idea what I'd major in. I just miss learning. So, I think I'm going to take a couple of classes this fall -- one to replace a sub-par grade from my undergrad, and one that might be helpful with my current career. (The "current career" one is eligible for tuition reimbursement, too, so yay!)

In other news, I tried out Yahoo! Personals and eHarmony. Eh. I canceled both memberships. They were too nervewracking and just... I met one nice guy, but I'm not really interested in pursuing anything romantic with him. The whole online dating thing just feels so inorganic. And IRL, the guys I like never seem to like me back (or they don't say anything if they do). If this means I'm single for the rest of my life, I guess that's what this means. Heck, I already have a cat living on my back deck -- just start calling me the Crazy Cat Lady!

And I'm trying to be at peace about that. Really.

Sigh. I really am a chick-lit cliche.

Dear Me...

Some friends of mine have been participating in a journaling tool in which they write ten things they'd tell the 16-Year-Old version of themselves. I wasn't exactly motivated to participate, but a friend of mine from high school was in L.A. for a day this past week, and our visit got me to thinking. Some of the things are serious and some are funny, but without further adieu, I present "Conversations With a Sixteen-Year-Old Amanda"...

(For ease of reading, 28-year-old Amanda will be identified as 28, while 16-year-old Amanda will be identified as -- you guessed it -- 16.)

28: Hey Amanda, you know that guy from high school that you like? The one who gives you the tummy butterflies whenever he pays attention to you or rests his arm on the pew behind you in church?
16: Oh yeah, Jimmy*? He's so cute and nice and --
28: -- and you need to just forget about him. It's never going to happen.
16: Just because you're the version of me twelve years in the future doesn't mean anything!
28: ...
16: Nana says that one of these days all of the boys in high school who like the cheerleader girls are going to want the nice girls. I'm a nice girl.
28: Sweetie, please. Save yourself the heartbreak and embarassment. Don't buy him a birthday present.
16: But --
28: -- But nothing. Go home. Watch As the World Turns. Mike and Rosanna are SO CUTE. And make sure you label the tape properly so that you can find their whole Montana adventure later on in life when you need a pick-me-up.
16: Oooookay...
28: Oh, and one more thing... In about 8 years, you're going to meet this other guy in a book store. Ignore him. When Katy asks you to go and look at horse books, politely tell the guy goodbye before you fall for him.
16: I'm gonna meet a guy in a bookstore?
28: Yeah. And you're going to be walking on air for weeks until you realize that it's the same situation with Jimmy. You're "that girl." And that is not a fun thing to be. Okay?
16: 'Kay. So if you're here from the future, can you tell me if Ross and Rachel end up together?
28: All in good time, my love. All in good time.


28: Don't give Brian a ride home from that scrimmage.
16: What scrimmage?
28: The Lake View vs. Central one. Senior year.
16: LAKE VIEW AND CENTRAL ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO PLAY ONE ANOTHER?!?! Who wins??
28: It's a SCRIMMAGE, not a game. I don't remember who won -- I think it was a tie. But that's not the point... There's going to be this guy who in a fantastic display of chivalry will save you from being run over by a play. Later on that night, he's going to ask you for a ride home. Don't do it. Get in Marlena and head home to 24th Street.
16: A guy actually gets chivalrous about me?
28: Yes. And that's the only time. Trust me. Do not go home with him. You will save yourself a weekend of tears. You won't scare your mother to death. And there won't be any need for you to hide from him at school or screen your phone calls.
16: What happened?
28: Forgive me if I don't want to talk about it. But taking him home could potentially ruin your life. It will save you years of therapy and anxiety.
16: I don't get it.
28: You will. In time.

28: Tell everyone you love that you love them. One day very soon one of them will be gone and it will be one of your biggest regrets that you didn't tell them that enough.
16: Who dies?
28: I can't tell you that.
16: Why not? If you tell me, I'll tell that person all the time how much they mean to me. I promise.
28: I can't tell you. I'm sorry.
16: Can you tell me...when?
28: Um, I guess. Round about the start of your junior year of high school. That's all I can say.
16: ...
28: It'll be okay. I promise. Do me a favor...
16: What?
28: Give Big Kitty a kiss for me.
16: Okay.

28: I know church may seem boring and overly hellfire-and-brimstone at times, but pay attention. Soak it in.
16: But, the pastor is so negative lately. It's much more fun to flirt with --
28: -- Ahem. We've discussed this.
16: Alright, but did you know that I learned what 69 meant last week?
28: And this has to do with church how? Ooooooh --
16: Eric* taught me. On a bulletin.
28: I certainly hope you destroyed that bulletin.
16: It was his. I don't know what he did with it.
28: Oy.

28: Spend some time with Daisy dog. Promise me.
16: Well, I go out and feed her when it's my turn.
28: That doesn't exactly count.
16: I don't have the time.
28: Don't give me that crap. I was your age once. Actually, I was YOU once. Actually I still am you, but WHATEVER. How about taking some of that time you spend chatting about As the World Turns on AOL and spending some time with the dog you've had since you were six?!
16: Man, I turned into a b-word!
28: Just do it for goodness sakes... She loves you. Even though there've been times you haven't given her reason to.
16: I know...

28: One day very soon, those braces are going to come off.
16: HALLELUJIAH!!
28: And Doug L. is going to tell you you look pretty.
16: Really??
28: Yep.
16: I can't wait!
28: Just keep an eye on your retainer. When Mrs. Lowe passes out candy during the beginning of pre-cal class your junior year, don't be so brilliant as to wrap your retainer in the wrapper. You'll accidentally throw it away. And mama is going to be PISSED. (Yes, I said the word "pissed," wipe the shock off your face.) And she's going to make you dig through the trash can in pre-cal.
16: No taking out of the retainer. Good to know.

28: Go to prom. Even if you don't have a date.
16: But it's lame to go to prom without a date.
28: No it's not. Katy's going to go without a date.
16: Don't talk to me about her. She's such a freaking slob. Yesterday, she yelled at me for putting her stuff into "piles" in our room --
28: Hey, lay off. One of these days, she's going to be your best friend. But anyway, go to prom. Use that as an excuse to make Mom, Craig, Dad, and Nancy buy you a pretty dress. Use it as an excuse to let Shari do your makeup. Use it as an excuses to let Gayla do your hair all pretty. And for goodness sakes, use it as an excuse to get your first pedicure. Trust me when I tell you that they are HEAVENLY.
16: But what if I don't have a date?
28: You know what? Sometimes you are just a little too much of a follow-the-rules goodie-two-shoes.
16: Bite me. Or you. Or whatever.

28: Don't cry over the cancelation of 'My So-Called Life.'
16: I can't help it. It was such a good show. Jordan Catalano is so hot.
28: Jordan Catalano was a dick. What did I say about the shock face?? It's not like I've turned into a potty mouth, I just don't cringe when I cuss on occasion.
16: Oh he was not. Through it all, he loved Angela.
28: (laughing my butt off)
16: WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT??
28: Love. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
16: Apparently, I become a cynic, too. There is such a thing, you know. Mom and I think I'm going to live at home until I get married. I'm a nice girl and I don't think it'll be too long.
28: Yeah, whatever. That's a whole 'nother story that I don't really feel like getting into. But anyway, they're going to release My So-Called Life on DVD.
16: DVD?
28: Trust me, they are AWESOME. They're like this CD that you can watch movies on. They'll have the entire season of the show out. And besides, the people who created that show will eventually create another show that you are just going to love. You are going to relate to it and it will make you cry and miss, well, being you. And by you I mean the 16-year-old me.
16: What show is it?
28: Can't tell you. For, uh, copyright reasons? But, yeah, there's this popular book out about football...
16: "Friday Night Lights." It's about Permian. I hate MOJO.
28: Lalallalalalala...

28: Hug Mom and Craig and Dad and Nancy and EVERYONE. As much as possible.
16: I already do hug people a lot.
28: Do it even more. And don't get all butt-hurt when Craig calls you "Mama's Little Tit." He's just teasing you out of love.
16: Whatever.
28: At least do the hugging. There'll come a point where you're living a long way away from home and all you want is a hug and you can't get one without riding for three hours on a plane.
16: You mean I'm not going to live at home until I get married?? Or wait -- what if I'm married and we're living a long way away?! I bet it's New York. I AM SO MOVING TO NEW YORK!! --
28: We're not discussing this. And no I'm not going to tell you where you're going to live. You have to figure that out yourself. Just love your parents and your family. Every chance you get. Do you have a kleenex? I think I need a moment...

28: Watch what you eat for lunch.
16: I'M NOT FAT.
28: Well now you're not. Not really, anyway. Just trust me when I tell you that it's not exactly a good idea to have Town & Country for lunch on Monday, Sonic on Tuesday, Taco Bell on Wednesday, Long John Silver on Thursday, and Franco's on Friday.
16: But that's the point of having off-campus lunch privileges!
28: No, it's really not. Go home and eat leftovers or something. And don't drink too many cokes.
16: I think you need to shut up now.
28: Don't talk to me like that. Just listen. Just wait until Steph gets married and you feel like a whale in your bridesmaid dress.
16: Steph gets married??? When???
28: Forget I said that, but let me just... Fine. I'll show you the picture. Let's just hope there's no freaky Back to the Future thing going on and I start missing body parts. Here. That's you on the left.
16: ...
28: Are you okay?
16: Yeah, I, uh... I get it.
28: Good. And I thank you for at least getting it.

28: One last thing --
16: -- Nuh uh! The rules were only ten things --
28: Oh SHUT UP. I am older than you. And I know your dreams and I can and will crush them at will, okay?? Okay, maybe that's not a good idea, but whatever. CREDIT CARDS ARE THE DEVIL. Say it with me.
16: I'm not saying that.
28: Yes you are. Unless you really want to be paying off credit cards in your mid-twenties when you could be, I don't know, vacationing somewhere AWESOME. It sucks. So, SAY IT!
16: Fine. Credit cards are the devil.
28: Just be responsible with them and it will all be okay. 'Kay?
16: 'Kay.
28: Just keep being nice, okay? Be nice. Be loving. And enjoy life. Enjoy the little things. Scratch Big Kitty's ears. Take Daisy for a walk. Help Mom with dinner. Watch football with Craig. Don't yell at Katy. Well, don't yell at Katy too much. Talk to Dad and Nancy on the phone often. Give MawMaw a kiss. Listen to Poppy recite your poem with a smile. Just...enjoy it. Cherish it. Remember it all.
16: You sound like a Nora Ephron movie.
28: Really?? Thanks. That's really sweet. You'll understand why when you're my age. Or your age, considering I'm you and all. Oh whatever. Can we watch Friends now?

* Names changed to protect the innocent. The not-so-innocent? I didn't care enough to disguise your name. Punk.